Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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