o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
