Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You are the jesus of drinking
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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