dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
