She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
