I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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