Cold hands, warm shart.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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