yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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