Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She bit a glass in half.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
