I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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