I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
