Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize