I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
