the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
