I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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