that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
