sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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