dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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