I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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