..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
