Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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