i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
