Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
