And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
