Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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