you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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