At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize