Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
