Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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