Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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