DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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