why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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