Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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