the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
