you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize