nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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