If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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