So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
