Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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