Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
