obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
