just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
