weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
