i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
