That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She made me pour olive oil on her.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
