life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
