This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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