he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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