haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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