my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
