WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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