I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
