Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
