After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize