i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
