You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
