who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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