The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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