I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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