Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
