Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
