It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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