No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
