I must be too annoying 4 u.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
