I am spending my child support on dildos
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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